Thursday, February 23, 2017

I am here, as you can see.

Hello to all. I have been listening to a lot of Martinů lately and since I haven't been on here since my last post in January, I figured I'd force myself to sign in and share just a drop of what has been helping me cope with 2017.

2016 was an extremely trying year for me (regular visitors will know this) and thus far 2017 is much worse. The day after my Takemitsu post on January 7th, I lost my job. I am still looking for work and it's been over a month. I have no savings so I am currently (shamefully) borrowing money from my family in order to at least pay my rent. 

A week after this, my mother ended up in the hospital/icu with bacterial meningitis and we almost lost her; it was a nightmare that I won't even bother to share - too many complications to mention, weeks of hell on earth, no sleep/sanity or dry tear ducts. Thankfully she is now home, finishing one of the antibiotic treatments, and although dealing with neurological issues, she's alive. This has been eerily similar to my father's near-death while vacationing in Maui last year which landed him in the icu in Maui for 17 days and in a regular hospital room for many more.

Last week my dear uncle died from diabetic-related complications. His funeral was my mother's first trip outside of the house since leaving the hospital. Selfless and gentle, he was only in his 60s.

So, I am feeling a lot of dread lately. Try as I might, I cannot put on the brakes in any sense. I will try to post when I can/feel up to it, my dear friends. At some point I'm certain that I will be back to 'regular' posting; I just can't say when. 



Your Tzadik 

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Best wishes. Time heals all.

Anonymous said...

You are posting music so you must be feeling better!

Matt Brown said...

Hi Tzadik, I am sorry to hear of the sadness and trouble, and I hope soon some light comes through for you. Maybe it helps a little to know you have given us all so much with your sharing and ideas, so even when you are feeling low your value and goodness doesn't change. Take care of yourself first before trying to take care of the rest of us. I, for one will be here, on your side, no matter what. Martinu and his healing--very good plan! Take care, Jim

theblueamos said...

So distressing to hear from you like this.I wish I could invite you to my place in Jerusalem,serve you a hot meal,and just let you rest and relax. Untill that happens hang in there.be well and thanks for the lovely Martinu.

Anonymous said...

Tzadik Yakar,
I am so sorry to hear that you are doing dreadfully. Please believe me that in that sense you are not alone in the least. My 2017 stated with life just caving in or , collapsing over my head.
If I may say, there is no need to feel shame in regard to borrowing money from family, that is whet family is for. My mother says that family is your life long insurance company but without the small print. You are not alone in that "department" as well, unfortunately.

Last, please reconsider putting a 'donate' button on your blog, or allow some adds, it's not going to generate lot or enough but it's something. You have a great blog and there are some fine people out there, you deserve more appreciation.

yours
Leopold (your neighbor to the north)

JImmy D said...

Prayers.

Mark said...

Refuah sheleima to your mother! Hope things get better for you quickly, you who have made so many of our lives so much better!

cjvinthechair said...

Mr. T - have sent you a little music; maybe some of it's new to you (much English stuff !)....hope it reminds you folk are thinking of you !

David said...

Tadzik - is there anyway we can send you some money? I don't have a lot to spare, but would be very happy to send what I can afford.

David

Scraps said...

Tzadik:

You and me, brother, you and me. I hear you. I hope you will be better. I don't think "time heals all"; at least, it hasn't for me.... but it could, if you make it through. That's what I hope for me.

Peace. Love. You are incredibly nice and cool.

--Scraps

r. said...

MahaVishnu Enlightment, All Pervading Blessing onto your heart and all of yours Be Right Now, Dear Friend... Strenght, Perseverance, Patience without giving up The Love Kindred heart needed to life between all the extremes will give you to Safe Shores.

Warm Hugs and Peace.

Aibohan said...

Dear Tzadik, it is moving to appreciate the healing power of music from your words. Even if you and your family have passed through quite difficult moments, you can still enjoy more time together. This is a blessing.

Best thought for you and your family.

Abe

Ernesto Nosthas said...

HI... I AM A REGULAR FAN OF YOUR BLOG, AND I ALLWAYS BE ON DEBT WITH YOU.

TIME HEELS EVERYTHING.

I ALSO LOST MY JOB IN DECEMBER, BUT I ALLWAYS KEPT MY CONSULTANCIES AS MY SECOND WAY OF INCOME...AND THANKFULLY, I FOUND A STEADY FLOW OF SMALL-TERMS JOBS IN THIS DAYS.

I AM ALSO A FAN OF MARTINU, AND I WROTE ABOUT HIM A LOT...SORRY...IN SPANISH, MY NATIVE LENGUAGE.

https://quinoff.blogspot.com/2010/08/martinu-1.html

I HAVE A LOT OF MUSIC FROM MARTINU...MAYBE I CAN BRING YOU SOMETHING NEW...

BEST WISHES FROM CENTRAL AMERICA....

Unknown said...

I am sorry you and your family are going through such a hard time. You have given much pleasure to many people through your blog. Thank you for all your sharing.

Paul Terry said...

Hey buddy. Hang in there this time frame has been brutal to many of us and I can say without getting into details that this time has been one of the worst in memory. But we will make it through, this too, shall pass. I'm just taking a moment to thank you and tell you how much we love you and appreciate all your efforts.
Peace, and take care of yourself.

La Danse de Puck said...

Waves of comfort and love to you at this trying time. You have opened up my ears to such wonderful music that I must at least let you know this as a source of solace for YOU, that your actions have done good deeds and have helped others during similar times. All my love, Puck!!

Alexandru Valentin said...

Dear friend, may you reach soon to an end of all this sadly events! We appreciate your generous soul and wish you rapid recovery. Best wishes from Romania.