2016 was an extremely trying year for me (regular visitors will know this) and thus far 2017 is much worse. The day after my Takemitsu post on January 7th, I lost my job. I am still looking for work and it's been over a month. I have no savings so I am currently (shamefully) borrowing money from my family in order to at least pay my rent.
A week after this, my mother ended up in the hospital/icu with bacterial meningitis and we almost lost her; it was a nightmare that I won't even bother to share - too many complications to mention, weeks of hell on earth, no sleep/sanity or dry tear ducts. Thankfully she is now home, finishing one of the antibiotic treatments, and although dealing with neurological issues, she's alive. This has been eerily similar to my father's near-death while vacationing in Maui last year which landed him in the icu in Maui for 17 days and in a regular hospital room for many more.
Last week my dear uncle died from diabetic-related complications. His funeral was my mother's first trip outside of the house since leaving the hospital. Selfless and gentle, he was only in his 60s.
So, I am feeling a lot of dread lately. Try as I might, I cannot put on the brakes in any sense. I will try to post when I can/feel up to it, my dear friends. At some point I'm certain that I will be back to 'regular' posting; I just can't say when.
Your Tzadik
45 comments:
Best wishes. Time heals all.
You are posting music so you must be feeling better!
Hi Tzadik, I am sorry to hear of the sadness and trouble, and I hope soon some light comes through for you. Maybe it helps a little to know you have given us all so much with your sharing and ideas, so even when you are feeling low your value and goodness doesn't change. Take care of yourself first before trying to take care of the rest of us. I, for one will be here, on your side, no matter what. Martinu and his healing--very good plan! Take care, Jim
So distressing to hear from you like this.I wish I could invite you to my place in Jerusalem,serve you a hot meal,and just let you rest and relax. Untill that happens hang in there.be well and thanks for the lovely Martinu.
Tzadik Yakar,
I am so sorry to hear that you are doing dreadfully. Please believe me that in that sense you are not alone in the least. My 2017 stated with life just caving in or , collapsing over my head.
If I may say, there is no need to feel shame in regard to borrowing money from family, that is whet family is for. My mother says that family is your life long insurance company but without the small print. You are not alone in that "department" as well, unfortunately.
Last, please reconsider putting a 'donate' button on your blog, or allow some adds, it's not going to generate lot or enough but it's something. You have a great blog and there are some fine people out there, you deserve more appreciation.
yours
Leopold (your neighbor to the north)
Prayers.
Refuah sheleima to your mother! Hope things get better for you quickly, you who have made so many of our lives so much better!
Mr. T - have sent you a little music; maybe some of it's new to you (much English stuff !)....hope it reminds you folk are thinking of you !
Tadzik - is there anyway we can send you some money? I don't have a lot to spare, but would be very happy to send what I can afford.
David
Tzadik:
You and me, brother, you and me. I hear you. I hope you will be better. I don't think "time heals all"; at least, it hasn't for me.... but it could, if you make it through. That's what I hope for me.
Peace. Love. You are incredibly nice and cool.
--Scraps
MahaVishnu Enlightment, All Pervading Blessing onto your heart and all of yours Be Right Now, Dear Friend... Strenght, Perseverance, Patience without giving up The Love Kindred heart needed to life between all the extremes will give you to Safe Shores.
Warm Hugs and Peace.
Dear Tzadik, it is moving to appreciate the healing power of music from your words. Even if you and your family have passed through quite difficult moments, you can still enjoy more time together. This is a blessing.
Best thought for you and your family.
Abe
HI... I AM A REGULAR FAN OF YOUR BLOG, AND I ALLWAYS BE ON DEBT WITH YOU.
TIME HEELS EVERYTHING.
I ALSO LOST MY JOB IN DECEMBER, BUT I ALLWAYS KEPT MY CONSULTANCIES AS MY SECOND WAY OF INCOME...AND THANKFULLY, I FOUND A STEADY FLOW OF SMALL-TERMS JOBS IN THIS DAYS.
I AM ALSO A FAN OF MARTINU, AND I WROTE ABOUT HIM A LOT...SORRY...IN SPANISH, MY NATIVE LENGUAGE.
https://quinoff.blogspot.com/2010/08/martinu-1.html
I HAVE A LOT OF MUSIC FROM MARTINU...MAYBE I CAN BRING YOU SOMETHING NEW...
BEST WISHES FROM CENTRAL AMERICA....
I am sorry you and your family are going through such a hard time. You have given much pleasure to many people through your blog. Thank you for all your sharing.
Hey buddy. Hang in there this time frame has been brutal to many of us and I can say without getting into details that this time has been one of the worst in memory. But we will make it through, this too, shall pass. I'm just taking a moment to thank you and tell you how much we love you and appreciate all your efforts.
Peace, and take care of yourself.
Waves of comfort and love to you at this trying time. You have opened up my ears to such wonderful music that I must at least let you know this as a source of solace for YOU, that your actions have done good deeds and have helped others during similar times. All my love, Puck!!
Dear friend, may you reach soon to an end of all this sadly events! We appreciate your generous soul and wish you rapid recovery. Best wishes from Romania.
Love from Italy, dear friend.
Tzadik
Your friends deserve some response by now, even if you are having a tough time.
As a paid-up friend of Tzadik, I resent the implication of Anonymous that I deserve some response just because I follow a blog. Please, Tzadik, I don't know your details of your life. I support you. I sympathize. When you are here, I will celebrate. In the meantime, I hope you will feel better. Peace.
--Scraps
Not dear Scraps because you follow a blog, but because so many have expressed sympathy which has not been acknowledged.
He doesn't need to acknowledge my sympathy. Maybe you need to have your sympathy acknowledged. I don't, and that's what I felt I needed to say when you spoke out for everybody. If you are impatient, your sentence needs to be reworked to be accurate: "I deserve some response by now, even if you are having a tough time."
{shakes head} If you follow the last few threads of Tzadik's life, you would know he suffered a death in the family, another almost death, lost his job, etc. This is not the time for a lesson for autism masquerading as Politeness. If I were Tzadik and I came back to this, I would consider removing his blog.
Sigh. Well. The internet. Whee.
Time is a healer. Try not to let the misfortune get you down, things will improve for you. Take care of yourself.
hope you're feeling better. take care of yourself. -regards, alfred venison.
I hope you are feeling a little better. If not, I sympathize, and hope for better, eventually. You are a good person; it comes through on this blog crystal clear. Thank you!
your friend,
Scraps
Are you still around? Great Blog!
you are in my thoughts a lot. hope things turn around for you soon. -best reagrds, a.v.
I am a physician and hope you have had counseling and perhaps some medicine(s) to carry you through this burdensome grief.
We miss your posts and insightful comments. Return soon.
Shana Tova from Jerusalem.
I would like to know how to write in English to tell you how much I'm sorry.
Carmine from Naples
Very sorry to hear of your troubles. Here's hoping things turn around soon! Don't despair. I am sure your blog posts have brightened many days for others, so in some sense I hope that the good you've already done finds its way back to you.
It's comforting to find a place where there are good people. Hope Tzadik is doing well.
Wish you all a happy year.
Hope everything's gotten better already. Nothing but the best wishes to you, your passions and your amazing way to collect and share music.
(Sorry about my english)
Really sad what were happening with your family.
I hope your mother is getting better.
My best wishes for you.
WHEN?
If you occasionally return to look at your blog please let us know if we should continue dropping by. I am sad that one of my favorite sites may me gone. Thanks for your work and good luck.
Dear Tzadik,
I hope that, after a year, your situation has cleared up at least a little bit. And more than your situation, your spirit... hope at least you have overcome your kind of depression... not easy having to gone thru several ordeals at the same time...
Just wanted to ask you, if you find the time, to re-post the first part of a CD of which, by mistake, I only downloaded the 2nd part (which is quite frustrating, such a silly absent-mindedness from my part). The link is
http://nocturna-artificialia.blogspot.it/2015/06/meditations-music-for-flute-viola-and.html
(the 2nd part is still alive! But I only need the 1st, which is down). If you need my email for whatever reason, os7o@hotmail.es Thank you and cheers!
Fernando
Thinking of you.
--Scraps
Tazdik, our friend, we are still thinking of you. I trust you're coping and (I hope) thriving. It would be lovely to hear from you!
Warmest regards
Richard
MIss you
I am thinking of you. I hope you are doing a little better. Peace.
I have been sad to see you go, but perhaps the time has come to clean up this site and shut it down if you can't post anympore
It's his site, and shutting it down, or even cleaning it up, is his decision. If it bothers you, you could just not visit it.
I'm still going to wait, and maybe he'll come back, when it's time. I will be happy with no reservations if he does!
It's his site, and shutting it down, or even cleaning it up, is his decision. If it bothers you, you could just not visit it.
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