I am here, as you can see.

Hello to all. I have been listening to a lot of Martinů lately and since I haven't been on here since my last post in January, I figured I'd force myself to sign in and share just a drop of what has been helping me cope with 2017.

2016 was an extremely trying year for me (regular visitors will know this) and thus far 2017 is much worse. The day after my Takemitsu post on January 7th, I lost my job. I am still looking for work and it's been over a month. I have no savings so I am currently (shamefully) borrowing money from my family in order to at least pay my rent. 

A week after this, my mother ended up in the hospital/icu with bacterial meningitis and we almost lost her; it was a nightmare that I won't even bother to share - too many complications to mention, weeks of hell on earth, no sleep/sanity or dry tear ducts. Thankfully she is now home, finishing one of the antibiotic treatments, and although dealing with neurological issues, she's alive. This has been eerily similar to my father's near-death while vacationing in Maui last year which landed him in the icu in Maui for 17 days and in a regular hospital room for many more.

Last week my dear uncle died from diabetic-related complications. His funeral was my mother's first trip outside of the house since leaving the hospital. Selfless and gentle, he was only in his 60s.

So, I am feeling a lot of dread lately. Try as I might, I cannot put on the brakes in any sense. I will try to post when I can/feel up to it, my dear friends. At some point I'm certain that I will be back to 'regular' posting; I just can't say when. 

Your Tzadik